Being Gay in Men's Football: A Toxic Environment

“You don't belong on this earth” ... “What are you doing here?” ... “Stop breathing.”

Since revealing he was gay in 2021, player Josh Cavallo has received daily death threats and abusive messages on social media.

“Upon reading those comments, it broke my heart,” Cavallo states. “No-one wants to read things like that.

“I'm working to improve my skills and be the best I can be during matches, and then get put down due to my identity. It's disgusting.”

Midfielder the sportsman was playing for Adelaide United four years ago when he emerged as the sole publicly out elite soccer player in the world.

This summer he departed from Australia to join lower-tier club Peterborough Sports, who compete before audiences of about 400 in the sixth division, the sixth tier of English football.

The 25-year-old balances his sports career for the semi-professional team by speaking up on LGBTQ+ issues and leveraging his platform - boasting over a million followers on social media - to promote fairness and inclusion.

“Absolutely, we've got mountains to do,” Cavallo says when questioned about ongoing issues with discrimination.

“I don't go more than a week without hearing about an issue.”

‘Individuals wish to hurt me’

It took years for Cavallo to work up the courage to say “I'm gay” before coming out on 27 October 2021.

“My only desire is compete in soccer and receive fair treatment,” he said in an accompanying video.

The player was 21 and making a name for himself at his Australian club in the premier division when, backed by his colleagues, he announced his orientation publicly.

“I didn't know what was ahead. I didn't know what to expect,” he says. “The moment seemed appropriate in my life. I needed to move forward.”

The heartfelt revelation clip, titled ‘Josh's Truth’, gained massive attention on social media.

“My mobile phone exploded with encouraging words. The response was incredible.”

Liverpool were among numerous famous teams around the world to show solidarity with the player, with then manager the German manager saying: “I appreciate that he took this step because it sparks conversation.”

Barcelona defender the athlete also expressed backing, posting online that “the world of football is far behind and your actions drive progress”, while Adelaide United released a comment backing their “extraordinary” and “courageous” player.

Some people, however, were not so accepting.

The footballer quickly became a subject to homophobic abuse by rival supporters.

In January 2022 Melbourne Victory were fined A$5,000 over discriminatory chants from spectators aimed toward the player during a game.

“The things I'd hear were painful and derogatory towards LGBTQ people,” he explains.

“I remained calm because I knew that would only feed the haters.”

A scary event occurred at a gas station in Australia, where Cavallo was physically attacked by someone who recognised him from the media attention.

“That was a scary moment,” he recalls. “I remember thinking ‘this is real - people want to harm me’.

“Should this be tolerated? Definitely not. But by coming out, this is what it brings.

“My wish is that future individuals who comes out while competing in soccer at a high level won't face the journey I have endured.”

Cavallo says the daily death threats and abusive messages have affected his psychological well-being.

“It's disappointing because I must justify why I belong on the football field for being who I am,” he states.

“Heterosexual players aren't questioned and ask ‘why should you exist in football?’.

“A lot of people see me as a cheerful, positive person. But sometimes when I lean on my fiance, Leighton, and he gets to see a lot that happens behind the scenes.”

‘Premier League player coming out would move mountains’

Cavallo's decision to disclose his orientation helped inspire teenage Blackpool forward another athlete to come out as the Britain's sole publicly out active male professional footballer in spring 2022.

However, there are zero publicly LGBTQ athletes in the top English division.

“It would create massive change,” comments the footballer on the impact a elite athlete revealing their orientation would have.

“But I'm not going to sugar-coat it. Numerous frightening aspects that would come this person's way. Within soccer culture, being an openly gay player is a very toxic place.”

Over two decades after a pioneering player - Britain's first openly gay male footballer - died by suicide in 1998, the current athlete has discussed the “toxic masculinity” that still exists in professional soccer.

“You just need to go to a match and see the hostile environment and masculinity that the audience creates,” he explains.

“There is still a lot of work to make sure there is a secure environment in soccer for people like myself and his colleague.

“We haven't seen it (more players coming out) as frequently as desired.

“I can only keep pushing for what I think is right, and strive for eliminating the toxic masculinity in football changing rooms and establishing secure environments.”

‘My mission is to drive progress’

Cavallo says football has enabled discussions inside dressing rooms about coming out.

Yet, he is critical of Fifa, after Qatar, where same-sex relationships are illegal, staged the global tournament in 2022.

Future World Cup is scheduled in another Gulf state, where same-sex attraction is similarly prohibited.

“Do I approve that the World Cup is in nations that criminalise same-sex marriages, where individuals like myself will be imprisoned for just existing on their territory? It's scary,” says Cavallo.

“I receive communications [from people living in these countries] saying ‘I face imprisonment for my identity - is assistance possible?’.

“It's devastating that individuals are incarcerated for their true selves.

“There are countries that are significant soccer markets and they reject LGBTQ+ people. Those are the countries that tend to target me.”

Despite this, Cavallo says he won't cease advocating.

“Soccer has allowed me to start conversations in the changing room. It lets me communicate and educate people who want to learn more.

“Some will disapprove for your identity. But I have found my family. I've connected with similar people.

“My purpose is to create change. That's my objective.”